Roommates

6 must know tips for navigating life in college

Anonymous — Mon, 19 Aug 2024 06:00:00 +0000

6 must know tips for navigating life in college Anonymous (not verified) Mon, 08/19/2024 - 00:00

It’s normal to envision what your first year at ŷ��ڱ��Ƶ will be like. After all, college is an exciting time. As you navigate a new campus and class schedule, try to keep in mind that it’s normal if you experience unforeseen challenges, too. Keep these tips in mind to make your transition a little easier.

1. Living with roommates

Living with roommates can be a big adjustment. This holds true even if you and your roommate get along. It’s also important to keep in mind that while some roommates may become close friends over time, it’s also okay if you don’t. No matter what your relationship looks like, focus on how you can both create a healthy and considerate relationship throughout the year.

As you adjust to living together, you may have disagreements or disputes with your roommate. That’s normal. Learning to communicate openly, listen to the other person’s perspective, set boundaries and compromise are crucial to maintaining a healthy living situation. Be patient with yourself and your roommate. It can take time to work out the kinks and find the best way you can live together.

If you find yourself in a situation that feels ‘off’ or think it may turn into a bigger issue down the road, it’s okay to talk to someone about it now. Student Conduct and Conflict Resolution is available to help you navigate potential conflicts, no matter how small they may seem.

2. Finding friends

Some students may feel pressured to make as many friends as fast as they can. Remind yourself that the first few weeks of college can provide you with a variety of social activities and opportunities to meet new people, but forming deep and lasting friendships doesn't happen overnight. In many cases, it will take time, effort and patience.

You may also find that your initial friend group changes or shifts as you discover new interests or values. Don’t be discouraged if you don’t immediately find a group of lifelong friends. Instead, try to be open to joining new clubs, exploring new interests or going to different events. After all, there is no ‘right’ way to meet people or make friends.

Most of all, it’s important to remember that there are a lot of other students experiencing the same things. Practice compassion for yourself and others. If you have the opportunity to make someone feel included, it can go a long way for both of you.

3. Going out

In college you may find yourself at social events or parties that have alcohol or other drugs, and it can be easy to assume that everyone parties or uses substances in college. However, this stereotype doesn’t hold true (even at ŷ��ڱ��Ƶ). Whether you choose to use substances or not, it’s important to make choices that align with your interests and values.

If you choose to use substances, be sure to check out these tips for navigating parties safely. If you choose not to drink, that’s okay, too. You can still attend gatherings and have fun without substances. In fact, 96% of ŷ��ڱ��Ƶ Boulder students surveyed support not drinking at parties.

There are also plenty of opportunities on and off campus to socialize that don’t involve parties or substances. Take some time to think through what ‘fun’ looks like for you so you can choose your own adventure. You can also connect with ŷ��ڱ��Ƶ's Collegiate Recovery Community if you’re looking to meet and hang out with others who are in recovery or seeking recovery from substances.

4. Enjoying your free time

One of the benefits of college is that you don’t have to spend your entire day in class anymore. That’s why it’s important to make the best use of the free time you have. Between classes, studying, jobs, extracurriculars and social commitments, your schedule can quickly become jampacked. Any free time you have left may only come in short bursts throughout the day rather than longer breaks.

Learning how to effectively manage your time will become an important skill throughout college (and adulthood). In some cases, you may find that you’re spending more time than you expected on class assignments, or you may find that you’re frequently having to cancel plans to catch up on other responsibilities. When planning your time, it’s important to be realistic about your capacity and how many things you can truly commit to. If you feel overwhelmed, you may also need to deliberately schedule downtime to avoid getting burned out.

Remind yourself that it’s okay, and sometimes necessary, to prioritize your own well-being over other activities. If you need help balancing your schedule, check out these time management tips.

5. Exploring your independence

Starting college and living on your own can be both exciting and challenging. Moving away from your home, friends and family can feel like a major transition and some people may adapt more quickly than others. Living in a new place, being surrounded by strangers and figuring out what to do with your newly found independence can take time. Keep reminding yourself that it’s okay if things don’t fall into place right away. Afterall, there’s no instruction manual for adulthood.

You may also notice that you have to take on responsibilities you’ve never even thought about before. For instance, this may be the first time that you’ve done your own laundry, made your own doctor’s appointments, done your own shopping or managed your own finances.

As you navigate new challenges, remember that college is a learning experience. Give yourself grace and ask for support if you need it. There’s no reason to figure it out on your own. If you need help or support, reach out to your residence advisor, friends, family members or campus resources, like Let’s Talk and Peer Wellness Coaching. They can help you adjust to your new life and provide comfort if you’re feeling overwhelmed or homesick.

6. Going to class

Some people may find that college courses are easy, while others find them to be more difficult than high school. Overall, chances are that your classes will fall somewhere in between.

For this reason, it can be easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others or feeling like you’re not measuring up to your own expectations, especially if you’re feeling challenged by your courses. Practicing self-compassion and treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend can help. Acknowledge your feelings of disappointment or frustration, but don’t dwell on them. Instead, focus on your personal growth and progress. Celebrating small victories, like participating in a class discussion or finishing a brutal assignment, can help you stay motivated and build your confidence. You can also seek support through free services like ASAP Tutoring.

It’s also important to remember that college is a time of exploration and self-discovery. Be open to challenging your expectations and goals as you learn more about yourself and your interests. You might have entered college set on a particular major but discover a passion for something else entirely. Adopting a flexible mindset can help you feel more equipped to face challenges or roadblocks. It can also help you make the most of unexpected opportunities.

When you think about what the next semester or year will hold, try to shift your focus away from external expectations to personal growth. By embracing the unpredictable nature of college life, you may find that reality surpasses your initial expectations in ways you never imagined.

Resources

Navigating resources

If you’re not sure what kind of support or resources you need, Student Support & Case Management can help get you connected with campus and community services.

Please note: Students can refer themselves or peers to a case manager.

Mental health workshops

Counseling and Psychiatric Services provides a variety of mental health workshops to help students address common concerns like anxiety, mindfulness and meditation, managing emotions and more.

Recreation

The Rec Center offers a variety of trips, programs and events to help students stay healthy and find community. They have something for everyone, whether you’re into the outdoors, want to play competitive or non-competitive sports, simply work out or try something new.

Campus events

Campus hosts hundreds of events, workshops and activities every semester. Campus events are a great way to get involved, meet your fellow Buffs and explore different hobbies or interests.

Getting involved

There are so many ways to get involved on campus. This semester you may consider getting involved by joining a student organization, volunteering on campus or in the community, finding an on-campus job, joining a fraternity or sorority or getting involved in cultural groups. The options are limitless.

Student jobs

If you’re looking for on-campus jobs, internships or paid positions, check out Handshake to explore opportunities.

Basic Needs Center

The Basic Needs Center provides support for students who are facing food and housing insecurity. You can shop at their on-campus food pantry, stop by a mobile food pantry, sign up for SNAP and Medicaid or work one-on-one with a staff member to review additional resources and options.

Peer Wellness Coaching

Buffs know best. Peer wellness coaches are students who are here to support their fellow Buffs navigate a variety of topics and issues, including stress, relationships, time management, sleep, finances, goals and more.

Academic support

ŷ��ڱ��Ƶ offers an array of academic support resources, including tutoring, advising, study groups, writing consultations and more.

Please note: Students are also encouraged to work with their instructors and take advantage of office hours.

Crisis support

If you are experiencing a mental health crisis or need urgent support, you can call Counseling and Psychiatric Services at their 24/7 hotline (303-492-2277).

Please note: If you are experiencing a life-threatening emergency, please call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.

Medical care

If you get sick or injured, you can schedule an appointment at Wardenburg Health Center on campus. They also provide sexual and reproductive health services, free flu shots, prescription and over-the-counter medications, physical therapy, nutrition, chronic condition care, X-rays, labs and more.

Free wellness supplies

Who doesn’t love free stuff? Stop by the Wellness Suite on the third floor of Wardenburg to grab free wellness supplies. You can build your own kit with sun care products, aromatherapy, cold care supplies, safer sex supplies and more.

Your first year of college can be exciting, and it's normal if you experience some unforeseen challenges, too. Keep these tips in mind to make your transition a little easier.

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Tips for living with roommates on and off campus

Anonymous — Wed, 17 Aug 2022 21:10:41 +0000

Tips for living with roommates on and off campus Anonymous (not verified) Wed, 08/17/2022 - 15:10

Living with roommates is a normal part of college and young adulthood. Here are some tips to help you have a more successful roommate experience, whether you’re living on or off campus.

Jump to tips for off-campus students

Tips for students living on campus

Living on campus for your first year can be an exciting (and nerve-wracking) experience. This may be the first time you have had to share a room or live with someone you have never met. Follow these tips to help you transition into a residence hall and create a positive first roommate experience at ŷ��ڱ��Ƶ.

First impressions aren’t always accurate

Raise your hand if you’ve ever looked someone up online before meeting them ( ). While this kind of information-gathering can help satisfy your curiosity, it’s also important to remember that people may present themselves differently online or on social media. Take their first impressions of someone with a grain of salt, whether it’s online or in person. Make an effort to get to know your roommate(s) over the course of a few weeks, actively seek out things you have in common and allow space for differences, too.

Come prepared to create a roommate agreement

As part of your on-campus experience, you’ll work with your roommates and Resident Advisors (RAs) to create a roommate agreement, which outlines shared ground rules. Think through your expectations, habits and routines before you move in (or soon after) and come prepared to create a shared roommate agreement.

Here are some helpful topics to consider for on-campus students:

Morning and nighttime routines (quiet hours, class times, waking/sleeping hours, etc.)
Cleanliness of shared spaces (laundry, trash, dishes, clutter, chores, etc.)
Visitors (friends, significant others, overnight guests, gatherings, etc.)
Borrowing or using each other’s things (electronics, food, clothes, toiletries, etc.)
Purchasing common items (cleaning supplies, toilet paper, etc.)
Preferred ways for addressing conflict
Quality vs. alone time
Substance use (partying, vaping, drinking, marijuana, etc.)*

Don’t forget to talk with your roommates about potential deal breakers as well as things you’d be okay compromising on.

Note: Substance use is prohibited in residence halls.

Learn about conflict styles

Everyone handles conflict differently, depending on the situation, their conflict style and who they’re in conflict with. However, there are some common themes that may show up in a person’s response again and again. Learning how you approach conflict can be a great starting point for learning or refining skills around conflict resolution.

We recommend taking our free Conflict Style Quiz to learn how you approach conflict and how your ‘default’ response may impact your behaviors or attitudes in different situations. Encourage your roommates to do the same so you can discuss how your approaches may differ. Knowing each other’s conflict styles can help you work better together, reframe your approach and come up with alternative solutions to conflict. You can also explore more resources and tips for conflict management online.

Take the Conflict Style Quiz

Practice communication

It’s usually best to address roommate issues quickly before they fester. Bringing up issues through texting, social media or sticky notes on the door may lead to miscommunication or increased frustrations. This is because we can’t always know how the message will be received by the other person. A simple reminder to “take out the trash” may turn into something more.

Instead, try to discuss any potential issues in person. Allow yourself to cool off, make a plan and think through how you can express your needs before approaching your roommate. Using “I” statements to describe how the situation makes you feel is a helpful way to start.

Here are some examples:

“I feel hurt when I’m not invited to game night because I really enjoy hanging out with you.”
“I feel frustrated when the trash doesn’t get taken out because we agreed to switch off who takes care of it each week.”
“I am upset that my coat was damaged because I can’t afford to replace it.”
“I feel hurt when my snacks get eaten by others because it’s hard for me to make it to the grocery store.”

Remember that respect goes both ways. Listen for understanding and ask follow-up questions during the conversation. Resist the urge to formulate a response to what the other person is saying while they’re speaking. Instead, you should be focusing your full attention on the emotions, issues and reasoning behind what your roommate is saying.

Roommates aren’t always BFFs (and that’s okay)

While it would be nice, not everyone is going to end the year as best friends for life (and that’s okay). Try your best to let go of this expectation and instead, focus on creating a healthy living situation that you can maintain throughout the year.

If you do experience conflict with a roommate, remember that change doesn’t happen overnight and sometimes disagreements don’t always resolve the way we’d like them to. More often than not, seeing progress requires a series of conversations and a willingness to try.

Steps for requesting a room change

If you’re experiencing issues with your roommates or considering a room change, you must follow these steps first:

Review your roommate agreement and determine if your behavior is in alignment with what you originally agreed to together.
Talk with your roommate to try and address any concerns.
Talk with your RA for mediation or conflict support.
Talk to your hall director about next steps if necessary.
Visit Student Conduct & Conflict Resolution (SCCR) for additional support or facilitated mediation sessions.

If things continue to progress, you can then submit a room change request (keep in mind that a change may not be able to happen until semester break due to occupancy limits).

Tips for students living off campus

Living off campus can pose additional challenges and responsibilities that you may not encounter in on-campus housing. This can include things like rent, utilities, lawn care, parking, grocery shopping and navigating roommate issues more independently. Here are some tips to help you make the most of living off campus with roommates.

Create ground rules

While you’re not required to have a roommate agreement off campus, we highly encourage you and your roommates to create one. Even if you’re living with friends, a significant other or the same roommates as last year, it’s important to create or revisit ground rules to avoid conflict around things like rent, utilities, visitors, etc.

Here are some helpful topics to consider for off-campus students:

Rent (who owes what, how to pay/reimburse each other, due dates, etc.)
Utilities (whose names are utilities under, splitting bills, etc.)
Parking (how to share a parking space/garage, costs, permits, etc.)
Deposits (who pays and how much, reimbursement for damage, etc.)
Pets (what kinds, breed restrictions, pet rent, care, etc.)
Morning and nightime routines (quiet hours, class times, waking/sleeping hours, etc.)
Cleanliness of shared spaces (laundry, trash, dishes, clutter, chores, etc.)
Visitors (friends, significant others, overnight guests, gatherings, etc.)
Borrowing or using each other’s things (electronics, food, clothes, toiletries, etc.)
Purchasing common items (cleaning supplies, toilet paper, food, etc.)
Preferred ways for addressing conflict
Quality vs. alone time
Substance use (partying, vaping, drinking, marijuana, etc.)

Think through your expectations, habits and routines before you move in (or soon after) and come prepared to create a shared roommate agreement. You can use this free Roommate Agreement Template from Off Campus Housing and Neighborhood Relations to help you get started. You can also get free legal advice if you have questions about your lease or rights when living with roommates.

Be a good neighbor

Living off campus comes with extra responsibilities, like being a good roommate and a good neighbor. Here are some simple ways you can be a good neighbor and avoid conflict with longer-term residents:

Introduce yourself

Introduce yourself to your neighbors. If you’re nervous about introducing yourself in person, consider filling out this free Neighbor Contact Form to leave in their mailbox or on their front door.

Follow city ordinances

Make sure you’re aware of Boulder ordinances, including occupancy restrictions, furniture and trash requirements, snow removal, yard maintenance and fireworks laws. Reviewing these rules can help you avoid citations, nuisance complaints and other forms of conflict with neighbors or law enforcement. Be sure to also follow neighborhood or community rules related to pet waste, street parking, etc. It’s also important to know that everyone listed on a lease can receive a citation for ordinance infractions, regardless of whether or not you are all present at the time of the infraction.

Make amends

Stuff happens. You may forget to take out your trash or park in front of a neighbor’s driveway (whoops). If you make a mistake that may annoy their neighbors, remember to handle the situation in person, listen to your neighbor’s perspective and consider making appropriate amends (e.g. helping with lawn care, shoveling snow, taking out trash, etc.).

Understand conflict styles

Everyone handles conflict differently, depending on the situation, their conflict style and who they’re in conflict with. However, there are some common themes that may show up in a person’s response again and again. Exploring how you approach conflict can be a great starting point for learning or refining your skills around conflict resolution.

Take our free Conflict Style Quiz to learn how you approach conflict and how your ‘default’ response may impact your behaviors or attitudes in different situations. You can also share this quiz with your roommates or housemates to start the conversation around how different people handle conflict.

Take the Conflict Style Quiz

Practice communication skills

It’s best to address roommate issues quickly before they fester. Addressing issues through texting, social media or sticky notes on the door may lead to miscommunication or increased frustrations. This is because we can’t always know how the message will be received by the other person. A simple reminder to “take out the trash” may turn into something more.

Instead, try to address any potential issues in person. It can be helpful to make a plan and think through how you can express your needs before approaching your roommate. Using “I” statements to describe how the situation makes you feel is a helpful way to start.

Here are some examples:

“I feel hurt when I’m not invited to game night because I really enjoy hanging out with you.”
“I feel frustrated when the trash doesn’t get taken out because we agreed to switch off who takes care of it each week.”
“I am upset that my coat was damaged because I can’t afford to replace it.”
“I feel hurt when my snacks get eaten by others because it’s hard for me to make it to the grocery store.”

When talking through issues with your roommates, remember to listen for understanding and ask follow-up questions during the conversation. Resist the urge to formulate a response to what the other person is saying while they’re speaking. Instead, you should be focusing your full attention on the emotions, issues and reasoning behind what your roommate is saying.

Support resources

Support for potentially harmful living situations

In some cases, you may feel like you are stuck in a traumatic, toxic or harmful living situation. Harmful behaviors or experiences can include harassment, stalking, partner abuse, sexual or physical assault and hazing, to name a few. The Office of Victim Assistance (OVA) can provide additional support to help you explore your rights and options, make a safety plan, get medical treatment if needed, discuss your living situation and more.

Get connected with OVA by calling 303-492-8855, emailing assist@colorado.edu or filling out a confidential request form online. Submission forms are only reviewed by confidential OVA staff and will not be shared with the university. If you would like to be contacted by an OVA advocate counselor, please be sure to include your contact information on the form.

Learn more about OVA

Resident Advisors (RAs)

Students living on campus can reach out to their RA for additional support. RAs are a great resource to help mediate conversations and get everyone on the same page. Be sure to talk with your roommate beforehand and set up a time with your RA to discuss any potential or unresolved issues.

Conflict Resolution

All students, regardless of if you live on or off campus, can visit Conflict Resolution. They can help you navigate conflicts between roommates, significant others, professors, classmates and more. They also offer free workshops, mediation and coaching sessions if you’re looking to improve your skills around conflict management and resolution.

Peer Wellness Coaching

Peer Wellness Coaches provide peer-to-peer support and are available to meet with students living on or off campus. They can help you navigate concerns related to roommates, relationships, stress, finances and more. Peer Wellness Coaches can also help you set goals, connect with additional resources and create self-care plans.

Off Campus Housing & Neighborhood Relations (OCHNR)

OCHNR is here to help students with all aspects of living off campus, from searching for an apartment and roommate, understanding Boulder housing options and providing free lease reviews with our staff attorney, to navigating roommate disagreements, understanding Boulder ordinances and advocating for tenant rights.

Center for Inclusion and Social Change (CISC)

CISC works with LGBTQ+ students living on and off campus. They can provide information on gender-inclusive residence hall programs, gender-neutral facilities and more. Their office can also help students find inclusive housing and roommates that will be welcoming and supportive.

Residence Life

Residence life helps students who live on campus build community, engage in leadership opportunities and make the most of their stay in the residence halls. They offer a variety of events, tutoring services, employment opportunities and more.

Disability Services

Disability Services works with Campus Housing to provide reasonable housing and dining accommodations for students with disabilities. Students who are interested in obtaining housing or dining accommodations will need to register with Disability Services and provide documentation before they are able to submit a new accommodations request.

Living with roommates is a normal part of college and young adulthood. Here are some tips to help you have a more successful roommate experience, whether you’re living on or off campus.

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Tips for living with roommates off campus

Anonymous — Tue, 26 Jul 2022 20:09:11 +0000

Tips for living with roommates off campus Anonymous (not verified) Tue, 07/26/2022 - 14:09

Create ground rules

Here are some helpful topics to consider for off-campus students:

Rent (who owes what, how to pay/reimburse each other, due dates, etc.)
Utilities (whose names are utilities under, splitting bills, etc.)
Parking (how to share a parking space/garage, costs, permits, etc.)
Deposits (who pays and how much, reimbursement for damage, etc.)
Pets (what kinds, breed restrictions, pet rent, care, etc.)
Morning and nighttime routines (quiet hours, class times, waking/sleeping hours, etc.)
Cleanliness of shared spaces (laundry, trash, dishes, clutter, chores, etc.)
Visitors (friends, significant others, overnight guests, gatherings, etc.)
Borrowing or using each other’s things (electronics, food, clothes, toiletries, etc.)
Purchasing common items (cleaning supplies, toilet paper, food, etc.)
Preferred ways for addressing conflict
Quality vs. alone time
Substance use (partying, vaping, drinking, marijuana, etc.)

Be a good neighbor

Introduce yourself

Introduce yourself to your neighbors. If you’re nervous about introducing yourself in person, consider filling out this free Neighbor Contact Form to leave in their mailbox or on their front door.

Follow city ordinances

Make amends

Understand conflict styles

Everyone handles conflict differently, depending on the situation, their conflict style and who they’re in conflict with. However, there are some common themes that may show up in a person’s response again and again. Exploring how you approach conflict can be a great starting point for learning or refining your skills around conflict resolution.

Take the Conflict Style Quiz

Practice communication skills

Here are some examples:

“I feel hurt when I’m not invited to game night because I really enjoy hanging out with you.”
“I feel frustrated when the trash doesn’t get taken out because we agreed to switch off who takes care of it each week.”
“I am upset that my coat was damaged because I can’t afford to replace it.”
“I feel hurt when my snacks get eaten by others because it’s hard for me to make it to the grocery store.”

Support resources

Conflict Resolution

Peer Wellness Coaching

Off Campus Housing & Neighborhood Relations (OCHNR)

Center for Inclusion and Social Change (CISC)

Support for potentially harmful living situations

Learn more about OVA

Living off campus can pose additional challenges and responsibilities that you may not encounter in on-campus housing. Here are some tips to help you make the most of living off campus with roommates.

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5 things everyone should know about living with roommates

Anonymous — Sun, 02 Jan 2022 07:00:00 +0000

5 things everyone should know about living with roommates Anonymous (not verified) Sun, 01/02/2022 - 00:00

Living with roommates can be an adjustment, even if you’re living with friends. Whether you’ve had roommates before or are living away from home for the first time, here are five tips for living with roommates.

1. First impressions aren’t always accurate

Raise your hand if you’ve ever looked someone up online before meeting them ( ). While this kind of information gathering may help satisfy your curiosity, it’s also important to remember that people may present themselves differently on social media. Try to take your first impressions of someone with a grain of salt, whether it’s in person or online. Allow yourself the time to get to know them over the course of a few weeks. Seek out the things you have in common (interests, hobbies, etc.) and allow space for differences, too.

2. Roommate agreements are helpful

A lot of roommate conflict arises from mismatched expectations, miscommunications and other subtle misperceptions. Make sure you’re covering the basics by setting ground rules together, even if you’ve lived together before. Talk through each of your expectations, habits and routines together. Remember that you may need to revisit these subjects each semester as your schedules and commitments may change. Here are some topics to discuss together:

Morning and bedtime routines (quiet hours, class times, etc.)
Cleanliness of shared spaces (clutter, laundry, dishes, etc.)
Visitors (friends, significant others, overnight guests, etc.)
Borrowing or using each other’s things (electronics, food, etc.)
Purchasing common items (cleaning supplies, toilet paper, etc.)
Parking arrangements
Preferred ways to address conflict and discuss issues
Substance use (i.e. marijuana, alcohol, vaping/smoking, etc.)

You can create a roommate agreement to establish common ground and hold everyone accountable. Make sure everyone is on the same page and that everyone is able to share their input. Off-campus students can use this roommate agreement template. On-campus students will be able to complete a roommate agreement in person with their roommate and RA following move-in.

3. Communication matters

When you’re upset with a roommate, be sure to address it quickly before it festers. Addressing issues through texting, social media or notes on the fridge or door may feel like an easy way to avoid conflict, but it can also lead to miscommunication and increased frustration. Since we can’t control how the message will be received by the other person, it may lead to more (and bigger) issues down the road.

Instead, make time to bring up the issue in person, ideally when you’re both at home with no lingering distractions. Make a plan and think through how you can express your needs—this will help you feel more prepared. Remember to use “I” statements to describe how the situation makes you feel. Here are some examples of how to use “I” statements:

“I feel hurt when I'm not invited to game night because I really enjoy hanging out with you.”
“I feel frustrated when the trash doesn’t get taken out because we agreed to switch off who takes care of it each week.”
“I am upset that my coat was damaged because I can’t afford to replace it.”
“I feel hurt when my snacks get eaten by others because I have special dietary needs that make it difficult to grocery shop.”

While you’re having a conversation with your roommate, be sure to listen for understanding and ask follow-up questions to ensure you’re interpreting what they’re saying correctly. Resist the urge to formulate a response to what they’re saying while they’re speaking. Instead, focus your full attention on the emotions, issues and reasoning that your roommate is bringing up.

4. Everyone handles conflict differently

Everyone handles conflict differently, depending on the situation, their conflict style and who they’re having a conflict with. However, there are some common themes that may show up in a person’s response again and again. Learning how you approach conflict can be a great opportunity to learn or refine your skills for successful conflict resolution.

You can take this Conflict Style quiz to learn more about your approach and how your default response impacts your behaviors and attitudes toward conflict. Encourage those around you – roommates, friends, family – to take it, too, so you can learn how to work better together. Knowing other people’s styles can be helpful in reframing your approach or working to find alternative solutions when conflict does arise.

Take the Conflict Style Quiz

5. You may not be BFF’s (and that’s okay)

While it would be nice, change doesn’t happen overnight. Disagreements don’t always resolve the way we’d like, and more often than not, seeing progress requires a series of conversations and a willingness to keep trying. Having a healthy relationship with your roommate doesn’t always mean that you’ll be best friends in the end. However, it’s important to continue communicating and working together.

If things feel like they’re unresolved, let the person know you appreciate their time and you’d like to follow up with them in the future. If things are resolved quickly, share your appreciation and gratitude with the other person and let them know you value their help and input.

Resources

There are a number of resources available to students living on and off campus. Here are a few to check out.

Resident Assistants (RAs)

If you live on campus and need additional support, your RA can be a great resource to help mediate conversations and help everyone come to an agreement. Talk with your roommate, and set up a time with your RA to discuss any unresolved issues.

Conflict Resolution

Whether you live on or off campus, Conflict Resolution provides services to help students navigate conflicts with roommates, significant others, professors, classmates and more. They offer free workshops, mediation and coaching sessions for students looking to improve their skills around conflict management and conflict resolution.

Peer Wellness Coaching

Peer Wellness Coaches are available to meet one-on-one with students living on and off campus. They can help you navigate concerns related to relationships, stress, finances and more. Peer Wellness Coaches can also help you set goals, connect with additional resources and create a personalized self-care plan.

Whether you’ve had roommates before or are living away from home for the first time, here are five tips for living with roommates.

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