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One hallmark of a healthy relationship is the ability for people to communicate openly about their needs and how they’re feeling. This is an important step in building empathy and compassion for one another.����

Building trust in a relationship is important and may take time. Holding back feelings could mean that we aren’t sure how the other person will respond or what they will think of us. Oftentimes, especially in a new relationship, we may need to work with the other person to figure out ways to communicate effectively with each other.������

Communication can become unhealthy when one person in the relationship feels the need to influence or control the other person’s thoughts or behaviors. In this situation, boundaries may need to be addressed. Expressing your needs and setting limits are just two examples of healthy boundary-setting. Remember that healthy relationships require all of us to honor and respect boundaries.��

Having someone listen to us and feeling heard is fundamental to all relationships. A healthy relationship behavior is when both people feel relatively comfortable bringing up issues, expressing themselves and listening to the other person. While not every conversation is going to be easy, both people should feel that they will be listened to, respected and taken seriously.����

When a person’s feelings or needs are ignored or not respected, the relationship can suffer. It’s important for both people to make space for the other person. Compromise and ongoing communication are key in respecting each other’s feelings, needs and values. But compromise shouldn’t always be one way.������

If one person actively disrespects, ignores or demeans the other person, this is abusive behavior. People who behave this way may also treat someone’s ideas or feelings with contempt. ŷ���ڱ���Ƶ’s Office of Victim Assistance (OVA) offers free and confidential support for students, staff and faculty who may be experiencing these types of abusive behaviors in a relationship.��

Disagreements and conflict are normal in any relationship. It’s common to have different preferences, beliefs and values from others, even with people we love. In some cases, conflict can be a sign that something needs to change within a relationship. Many times, people who ignore or avoid conflict risk facing increased tensions and unmet needs. However, the way we respond to conflict is usually more important than the conflict itself.����

Working through a disagreement by talking respectfully and listening to understand each other is an important component of any relationship. We also can’t assume that someone can inherently see an issue from our point of view.����

If disagreements turn into fights more often than not, it may be time to evaluate how you’re communicating with each other. Try using “I” statements to soften language and use assertive communication. For example, “I need you to stop doing that,” is more collaborative than, “you need to stop doing that.” You can download a free PDF with examples of active listening and “I” statements from Student Conduct and Conflict Resolution (SCCR).����

If conflicts escalate and feel difficult to resolve, it may cause us to fear disagreeing with someone because it may trigger the other person’s anger, abuse or violence. People may resort to belittling the other person during disagreements. These are signs that it may be time to get support. and resources for students, staff and faculty who may be experiencing abusive or violent behaviors in a relationship.��

Healthy relationships allow space for mutual intimacy and connection. This means people are able to establish healthy boundaries and talk openly about emotional and physical desires as well as what that looks like for them in a relationship.����

In a romantic or sexual relationship, this includes talking about sex and being able to express what each person wants and doesn’t want and what feels good (or doesn’t). These types of conversations require attention and regular check-ins between sexual partners. You can download a free Sex Ed Workbook that is designed to help people explore their beliefs about sex, what they desire from sexual experiences and strategies for discussing sex with partners, friends, or medical providers.����

If people feel embarrassed or unwilling to say how they feel because they’re worried the other person may not listen or care, it can make intimacy more stressful than enjoyable. If one person’s needs and wants are ignored or if they are pushed into situations that are upsetting or unwanted, this is a sign of abusive behavior. OVA provides free and confidential support and resources for students, staff and faculty who may be experiencing these types of abusive behaviors in a relationship.��

In healthy relationships, people trust one another. Trust is about knowing that someone will do what they say. It also can mean that each person in the relationship feels free to spend time with other people in their life.����

A relationship can become unhealthy when one person frequently feels jealous about the other talking to or spending time with other people. Strong support systems come from maintaining multiple friendships, as well as potentially having mentor relationships or a sexual or romantic partner to rely on.��

If one person accuses the other of not being loyal or tells them not to talk to or interact with certain people, these may be signs of abusive behaviors and mistrust. These types of behaviors can lead to feelings of isolation as well as symptoms of depression or anxiety. OVA provides free and confidential support and resources for students, staff and faculty who may be experiencing these types of behavior in a relationship.��

• : SPAN provides a number of services to the Boulder community, including a 24/7 crisis line, shelter, counseling, legal advocacy, housing and transitional services and anti-violence education.��

• : This organization can provide information on shelters and 24/7 hotlines throughout ŷ���ڱ���Ƶ. They also provide other information related to intimate partner abuse and domestic violence specific to ŷ���ڱ���Ƶ.������

• : This hotline is available 24/7 and offers support in more than 200 languages at 1-800-799-7233. You can also chat with someone through their website at . All phone calls and chats are confidential.����

• : The Trevor Project provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQ+ communities. Access 24/7 support by calling 1-866-488-7386. Support is also available through .��