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We鈥檙e not going to agree. That doesn鈥檛 mean we shouldn鈥檛 talk

We鈥檙e not going to agree. That doesn鈥檛 mean we shouldn鈥檛 talk

By Joe Arney

How do you get that neighbor, relative or coworker to change their mind about abortion, gun control or immigration?

Panelists answer a question during the session. They're seated at a long table.
You won鈥檛. And Matthew Koschmann wishes you鈥檇 stop trying.听

The associate professor of communication at the University of 欧美口爆视频 Boulder鈥檚 College of Media, Communication and Information said our personal experiences should have taught us by now that those who don鈥檛 agree with us won鈥檛 be swayed by us correcting the information that鈥檚 led them to their beliefs.听

鈥淚f anything, it鈥檚 the opposite,鈥 Koschmann said. 鈥淲e live in a very information rich鈥攊f not gluttonous鈥攅nvironment, and more information does not necessarily make us change our minds. 鈥 Most of us don鈥檛 say, 鈥極h, thank you for correcting me on my assumptions about the world.鈥欌

But that doesn鈥檛 mean we shouldn鈥檛 talk to each other, a theme Koschmann returned to during Monday鈥檚 Difficult Dialogues series hosted by the university鈥檚 Center for Humanities & the Arts. He was part of a panel examining political polarization and how to stay good neighbors at a time of deep division in the United States.听

鈥淚f you can鈥檛 talk about something, you can鈥檛 fix it,鈥 said Jennifer Ho, director of the center, in opening the discussion. 鈥淪o, how do we find a way forward鈥攈ow do we stay good neighbors, no matter what results happen in November or in January?鈥

Polarization and the press

鈥淚f we bring it back to experience, it can be a moment of sharing, rather than a moment of debating positions of things that are very personal to us鈥攚hich is very difficult.鈥
Angie Chuang, associate professor, journalism

The panel also featured Angie Chuang, an associate professor of journalism at CMCI and a former journalist whose research looks at race and identity, especially as presented by the media.

Headshot of Angie Chuang
鈥淭he news media is part of the problem,鈥 she said. 鈥淚t informs people, and creates this rich source of information, but it oftentimes polarizes people.鈥

It鈥檚 a problem that鈥檚 arguably gotten worse in the digital age, as the number of publications and platforms has mushroomed. Instead of the mid-19th century penny presses, clickbait proliferates through alternative news sites.

鈥淭he news media is not there to improve our national dialog or improve our nuanced understanding,鈥 Chuang said. 鈥淭here are individual journalists who are trying really hard, and there are organizations trying to fight this鈥攂ut as a marketplace, it is trying to get advertising money. Understand that, and you become a savvier media consumer.鈥

Chuang and Koschmann were joined on the panel by Boulder Mayor Aaron Brockett, as well as moderator Michaele Ferguson, an associate professor in the university鈥檚 department of political science.

If you鈥檝e tried to have conversations with people who don鈥檛 share your views, you know how difficult the proposition can be. Chuang said our social identities鈥攔ace, gender, sexuality, religion and others鈥攁re seen as essential to who we are, so when that becomes the topic, discussion quickly veers off course.

鈥淚f I were to say, 鈥楳ichelle, your views on the economy and foreign trade are just totally ignorant, and I can鈥檛 even understand why you think the way you do,鈥欌 Chuang said to Ferguson, 鈥渋t comes off differently than if I say, 鈥楳ichelle your views on race are completely ignorant.鈥櫶

鈥淚f I say, tell me your experience based on your identities, that is a different conversation than, 鈥榃hy is your position on policing or affirmative action the way it is?鈥 If we bring it back to experience, it can be a moment of sharing, rather than a moment of debating positions of things that are very personal to us鈥攚hich is very difficult.鈥澨

Defusing disagreements

Headshot of Matt Koschmann
As the mayor of a city with a well-publicized progressive bent, you might expect Brockett鈥檚 days are spent on friendly territory, but spoke about the difficult conversations he鈥檚 had with residents on any number of issues. He defuses such situations by offering to learn about how the other person formed their viewpoint, and sharing materials that demonstrate where he鈥檚 coming from.

It doesn鈥檛 always work, he said. Once, he sent a peer-reviewed paper to a resident to shine light on an issue, which she countered by sending a thesis proposal from a master鈥檚 student that she found online.

鈥淥n almost any topic, you can find something to support a position, any position, somewhere on the internet,鈥 Brockett said. Online, he said, 鈥渕any of us are accustomed to getting feedback loop, hearing the same viewpoints over and over again鈥攁nd then it becomes inconceivable to you how other people might think something different.鈥澨

The panelists agreed that those difficult conversations are worth having because when you find a moment of connection, it鈥檚 authentic and validating. Just don鈥檛 go in expecting to bring people around to your ideological corner.听

鈥淚f you are interested in being influential and persuasive in implementing change in your community, the most effective thing you can do is not explicitly try to change people鈥檚 minds,鈥 Koschmann said. 鈥淭ry to live a beautiful life of human flourishing, that is attractive and winsome, that draws people to you鈥攁nd then people say, 鈥榃hat鈥檚 going on, tell me more about your interests and why you鈥檙e happy.鈥欌澨

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